How to experience the childbirth-like joy of ordering a Publix sub online

How to experience the childbirth-like joy of ordering a Publix sub online
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The Publix website is shockingly user-friendly. Ordering a sub is a dead simple process that starts here.

I prefer the roast beef sub on the Italian 5 Grain bread. I’m a huge Italian 5 Grain guy.

publix-sub-online-order-charlotte

Jump in your car and drive to the South End Publix to get that Boar’s Head baby in your belly.

Park out in front because you’ll be inside for very little time.

south end publix

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Walk through the produce section like you own the place.

publix produce south end

Look, there it is! It’s like seeing your baby after she was just born through the window at the hospital nursery.

Just sitting there being all cute. She was made just for you.

publix sub south end charlotte

Confirm that the baby is yours and see the prideful initials of your sub creator.

publix sub charlotte south end

Look to your left at the pawns in line and wonder — do these people hate technology or am I just very smart? Hahaha!

publix sub line at lunch in south end

Keeping in theme of “no human interaction” go pay at the vacant self-checkout.

Robots > humans.

publix self check out

Go to your special place, unwrap your baby and just admire its beauty.

publix roast beef sub

Like a loser, I was full after eating half of my sub. I put it in the refrigerator…

publix sub and beer

Katie Levans yelled at me: “Rule number 1 of PubSubClub: Eat the whole sub.” #truth

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