My wife and I get around. Not in a ‘everyone throw your keys in a bowl’ kind of way, but we go on a lot of dates. With other couples. One of my go-to questions when getting to know another couple is “how did you meet?”
What seems like a relatively straight-forward, innocent question leads to a range of strange looks (like, should we tell them?) to blatant lies (yea grandma, we were grocery shopping).
Since most couples are too embarrassed to share how they really met, allow me to translate for you.
“We went to school together”
Translation: You hit it off at the first party you went to freshman year and your relationship has been volatile ever since. I can’t remember if you’ve “taken a break” six times or seven, but congrats on
settling powering through.
“Oh man, it was a long time ago”
Translation: The pole at Andrew Blair’s, dance floor at Black Finn or the stage at Jeff’s Bucket Shop.
“Friends of friends”
Translation: You have an incestuous group of friends who have all hooked up with one another. Five years later, you were the only two that hadn’t.
Translation: The summer you met was a blur. You can’t fully remember if it was MDW or 4th of July, but he was wearing an American flag speedo and chugging half Bud Light, half lake water.
“Alive After 5”
Translation: You saw each other every day for two years at the Dowd Y, but never had the courage to say anything. You stalked each other and realized you both work at the bank. All you needed was a little liquid courage and a wing man.
“We actually worked together for a minute”
Translation: You both worked at Red Ventures for four years and told HR that you started dating once one of you left the company, but we all know that’s not true.
“We were family friends”
Translation: The 2019 version of an arranged marriage. Your moms have been planning this relationship since you both were in Hebrew school. Hava Nagila to you both.
Translation: Panther’s tailgate.
“We met at a party”
Translation: More specifically, it was a Halloween party. And you and your scandalous rendition of Three Blind Mice blended perfectly in pictures with Batman. Unfortunately, you spent the entire next morning trying to figure out who Batman was. “I think he told me his name is Bruce.” – Becky
“We met on Match”
Translation: Okay, I’ll bite. Sounds legit.