Note: Love confessions? Here’s the entire confessions series collection. If you’d like to participate, please email firstname.lastname@example.org. We promise to keep you anonymous.
I nannied my way through grad school and I have to say, it is some of the hardest work out there. Parents don’t want you to plop their kids in front of the TV, so I would make up games and obstacle courses and full theatre productions and by the time the parents got home I felt like I had run a marathon. Here are the confessions of a real, professional nanny about spoiled kids, awkward interviews and a sexual eggplant emoji.
Tell me about the weirdest thing that’s happened to you at work.
I was hired to watch a 14-year-old boy who was taking a French class online and just stayed in the office the whole time. They had nanny cams all over the house. It was so awkward and I don’t understand why he needed a babysitter.
Have you ever had to fire a client? Why?
This rich guy who lived in Uptown with one child wanted to hire me and pay me through the business he owned on his “payroll.” Since I had a teaching degree, I got him to agree to $50,000 with possibly raises (more than my teaching job).
He said he was going to work from home most of the time, and honestly really creeped me out.
He also tried to add extra date nights in my contract and I felt like my whole life would be built around his life.
I was uncomfortable all around and didn’t take the job.
Do kids ever tell you things that their parents wouldn’t want you to know?
I had a child tell me that his parents have “pajama parties” together and that he isn’t allowed to join…
What’s the most annoying thing kids do? Their parents?
Kids today tell the parents what to do, instead of the parents telling them what to do.
Many of the kids are very spoiled and didn’t know how to hear the word “no.”
I once watched a mother make three different dinners to appease the children and they didn’t even eat it. My parents would make one meal and say, “Eat it or you can’t get up!”
Do you ever put kids to bed really early because they’re being annoying?
No, because then they won’t sleep since they’re out of their routine or it’s too light out. But I do start the process very early!
Do you have any stories about parents being super nitpicky?
I had someone interview me before I came over to babysit for a date night. They watched me for over an hour while I played with their kid, watched me give them a bath and then were hovering over me during bedtime.
The mom literally stood behind me and told me exactly where to put every stuffed animal and pillow on the kids bed and it was really overbearing. Keep in mind that I was in my 20’s with a teaching degree, not a 12-year-old kid!
Any other confessions?
One time I told a parent they could Venmo me.
I saw them make a weird face and laugh as they paid me.
As I was leaving I looked at my Venmo and realized that my friend had jokingly paid me for “sex” and included an eggplant emoji the day before. (I just bought him lunch on the same check!) I never went back there again because of embarrassment!