Agenda readers say the dating scene has gotten worse – and they’re sick of the apps

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In 2016, we asked our Agenda daily newsletter subscribers for their honest thoughts about what it’s like to date in Charlotte.

That year, the scene received just about the same number of Bs as it did Cs (36.93% and 37.44%, respectively). Just 8.73% called it A-worthy.

Responses included everything from, “Charlotte is weird for dating. It’s like there are too many women so it’s ultra competitive or maybe guys just don’t want to settle down” to “Lots of attractive, available, stable men (from a female perspective). I used to live in Charleston and the dating scene was the worst.”

[Agenda Story: We asked 19,000 people about the Charlotte dating scene. Here’s what they said.]

When we asked the question again this month to 31,000+ subscribers, we found that the dating experience in Charlotte has declined, with the majority of participants giving it a lower grade than the year prior.

Almost half of respondents gave it a C rating (43.48%, up 6.04% from 2016), followed by 29.05% giving it a B (down 7.88%).

Though the rating went down, commentary, for the most part, stayed the same:

  • “It’s probably just as easy to find a date here in Charlotte, as compared to other cities. The difficult part if finding someone who wants more commitment, versus a hookup.”
  • “Tough at times, especially when you’re in the over-40 crowd.”
  • “Hot time in the city.”
  • “Not as good as I thought it would have been. I had more relations when I was living in a 4,000 person town.”
  • “I used Tinder for both Charlotte relationships, so I’m not sure where to naturally meet people besides work. But it’s a decent sized city, so there are options. And I’m a millennial, and the city’s growing by millennial, so there should be a good amount of guys and gals to find. But I read a statistic that said Charlotte has a lot of HIV, so be careful out there.”

To the credit of those that are dating, a number of comments touched on that although what someone may want isn’t clear, at least they’re trying.

And when it comes to getting into the dating scene, the most popular way to do so isn’t an app, but just meeting people organically.

An overwhelming 44.46% of participants avoided apps completely, saying instead that “They’re all annoying – it seems like the majority of people are just looking to hook up” and suggesting instead to “Please – stop using these and go take a class and meet new people.”

It should be noted, though, that Bumble, with 28.36% of votes, was the most-used app, followed by Tinder and Match at 12.3% and 8.01%, respectively.

Many participants suggested just going to a brewery for a drink or two instead in order to meet people, a theme that’s been common in other surveys by the Agenda.

When the first round of the Agenda’s blind date series applications rolled in, only 1.2% of applicants didn’t drink – and just over half said that an alcohol-centered activity made for an ideal first date.

[Agenda Story: Does Charlotte know how to date without drinking?]

But figuring out how to better the state of the city’s dating scene doesn’t seem to be at the front of anyone’s mind.

Instead, Charlotte is choosing to focus on self-improvements that revolve around fitness, career and making money.

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Kylie Moore
Writer doubling as a travel, wine, and Oxford Comma enthusiast.